You all know that I have a Little Monster Monkey, she's 2 1/2 now. I can't say we've had terrible 2's, we had some terrible 1 1/2's, but the 2's have been pretty good, so far. However, I have run into a problem I just don't know how to fix, I'm hoping you all can help!
My daughter seems to have developed what my mom used to call "selective hearing". Our typical conversation goes something like this.
Me: Monkey come here.
Monkey: does not even look, or respond in any way.
Me: Monkey come here now (with slightly more intensity)
Monkey: looks around at me, with a look that says "are you talking to me?"
Me: Monkey Come Here Now!! (voice is now raised a bit, with lots of intensity)
Monkey: slowly meanders her way over, stopping along the way to look at a crumb on the floor, then pick up a piece of trash and so on.
Me: I SAID NOW!! (voice is raised, as is intensity, and now I am truly irritated!)
Monkey: stands in front of me, what momma?
Me: I want you to go pick up your toys.
Monkey: Why?
Me: Because I want them picked up off the floor.
Monkey: Goes to pick up toys, ends up playing instead.
Me: I know this is an exercise in futility, I'm truly annoyed, but the toys need to be picked up, and it would be faster to do it myself, but she has to learn to do it so I tell her again, and again, and again. A time out ensues, and the toys are finally picked up. I want her to come the first time I tell her to, and to pick stuff up when I tell her to, not when she wants too!!! Is that too much to ask?
So, I know some of you have kids, and you are cracking up right now thinking, yep, that is how it goes. What do you suggest? I am so tired of being ignored by a 2 year old. Yes, I know how that sounds, but it is the truth. Please, send what ever suggestions you can!
On another note, 2 year olds are also a joy. I have completely lost my voice, which makes the a fore mentioned conversation even more interesting. Little Monkey wanted me to read her a book, but I had to tell her that I lost my voice and so she would have to wait for Daddy to come home and read to her. She looked at me all concerned and said, Mommy, we need to find your voice, where did you leave it? After I got through laughing I tried to explain, but she never really got it. She decided I must have left my voice in the kitchen and so she looked in all the cabinets and the drawers, but she never did find it! I just love how literal she is, it makes things so funny!
Somehow, she is so polite too, she says thank you for everything, its gotten funny. When she gets dressed in the morning she asks if Daddy got her shirt, or if her cousin gave her the skirt she's putting on, if I say yes, then she says that she needs to tell them thank you, and wasn't it nice of them to give that to her! If I say, you already told them thank you, she says that was nice of me wasn't it mommy? I love that she is this way, don't know quite how it happened, well, sort of, it is something we have been working on, but not so much that I thought she would get it quite like this.
So, do you have any funny kid stories? Feel free to share them, as well as any help you might have!!
Melissa
My daughter seems to have developed what my mom used to call "selective hearing". Our typical conversation goes something like this.
Me: Monkey come here.
Monkey: does not even look, or respond in any way.
Me: Monkey come here now (with slightly more intensity)
Monkey: looks around at me, with a look that says "are you talking to me?"
Me: Monkey Come Here Now!! (voice is now raised a bit, with lots of intensity)
Monkey: slowly meanders her way over, stopping along the way to look at a crumb on the floor, then pick up a piece of trash and so on.
Me: I SAID NOW!! (voice is raised, as is intensity, and now I am truly irritated!)
Monkey: stands in front of me, what momma?
Me: I want you to go pick up your toys.
Monkey: Why?
Me: Because I want them picked up off the floor.
Monkey: Goes to pick up toys, ends up playing instead.
Me: I know this is an exercise in futility, I'm truly annoyed, but the toys need to be picked up, and it would be faster to do it myself, but she has to learn to do it so I tell her again, and again, and again. A time out ensues, and the toys are finally picked up. I want her to come the first time I tell her to, and to pick stuff up when I tell her to, not when she wants too!!! Is that too much to ask?
So, I know some of you have kids, and you are cracking up right now thinking, yep, that is how it goes. What do you suggest? I am so tired of being ignored by a 2 year old. Yes, I know how that sounds, but it is the truth. Please, send what ever suggestions you can!
On another note, 2 year olds are also a joy. I have completely lost my voice, which makes the a fore mentioned conversation even more interesting. Little Monkey wanted me to read her a book, but I had to tell her that I lost my voice and so she would have to wait for Daddy to come home and read to her. She looked at me all concerned and said, Mommy, we need to find your voice, where did you leave it? After I got through laughing I tried to explain, but she never really got it. She decided I must have left my voice in the kitchen and so she looked in all the cabinets and the drawers, but she never did find it! I just love how literal she is, it makes things so funny!
Somehow, she is so polite too, she says thank you for everything, its gotten funny. When she gets dressed in the morning she asks if Daddy got her shirt, or if her cousin gave her the skirt she's putting on, if I say yes, then she says that she needs to tell them thank you, and wasn't it nice of them to give that to her! If I say, you already told them thank you, she says that was nice of me wasn't it mommy? I love that she is this way, don't know quite how it happened, well, sort of, it is something we have been working on, but not so much that I thought she would get it quite like this.
So, do you have any funny kid stories? Feel free to share them, as well as any help you might have!!
Melissa
I well remember the selective hearing days. Especially with Austin. No great words of wisdom here, just keep on. This too shall pass. Really! Now my kids are 15 and 18 and even now they occasionally have selective hearing. Overall, the monkey sounds like a joy to have around.
ReplyDeleteOne more thing. Our pediatrician did tell us that Austin had selective hearing. Little did we know that when he couldn't hear us he had an ear infection. They didn't hurt him they just knocked out his hearing. Not that I think that's the little monkeys problem. :-)
ReplyDeleteLet me know when you find a solution to the selective hearing. I neee one too. We are also having the same problem with the picking up. C loves to go in his room and knock off all the books on his shelf and thne Kackle (not sure that's how you spell that). He thinks it's great fun. But when his fun is done and mom finds what he's done (I'm a poet and didn't know it) he doesn't like picking them up and a lot of time outs insue.
ReplyDeleteA couple of thoughts for your selective hearing issue... First, it is a possibility that she doesn't hear you because a child can sometimes have ear issues, as L on the west coast said. (This has happened with Keith and Robbie.) However, as you describe her behavior AFTER she has understood the command to come, it's obvious she does know what you desire and has decided it is not on her agenda to make your command a priority. You have to make your priorities (read: commands) more worthwhile to her to follow than her own wishes. It doesn't take long to accomplish this. It does take mom being consistant for awhile until the lesson is learned. I'm sure you can handle this! When we had the selective hearing problem, we gave a command once. Then WHETHER OR NOT the child actually heard it, we followed up with action to gain the child's attention. (Usually a small 'pay attention' swat on the seat of the pants.) Then we'd repeat the command. You have their attention now, so you know that they're hearing you. If it wasn't obeyed this time, punishment ensued. Depending on how determined of a child you have, and how long you've let this issue slip, you may have a short, or a challenging time of teaching this lesson. But it is definitely possible with perseverance. And it is important. Think of this senario: Little munchkin is heading toward a street. Mom shouts, "No!" You've got to be obeyed immediately. And it IS possible to accomplish this. P.S. Commands to pick up toys (for instance) need to be given only once as well. It's exhausting to not be obeyed. I know from experience, unfortunately. I've also experienced the rest that comes from a well-disciplined child. Praise God for his wonderful instructions for life!!
ReplyDeleteIf you have a desire to talk, you're welcome to call. I would have emailed but don't have your address.
-Darlene H. in Fredericksburg